whittlefire:

Best of Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior (And reason #3 why you should see this movie and read this book)

“…it was agreed that Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior must don a special shirt that Father would have fabricated, which would say: OFFICIOUS SEEING EYE BITCH OF HERITAGE TOURING. This was so she would appear professional.”

“We roosted on the grass and ate, while Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior attempted to lick the yellow lines off the super-way.”

“At this moment, Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior made herself evident, because she jumped up from the back seat and barked in volumes. ‘Oh Jesus Christ!’ the hero said with terror, and he moved distant from the car. ‘Do not be distressed,’ I informed him as Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior punched her head against the window. ‘That is only the driver’s Seeing Eye bitch.’ I pointed to the shirt that she was donning, but she had masticated the major of it, so that it only said: OFFICIOUS BITCH. ‘She is deranged,’ I said, ‘but so so playful.’”

“Officious seeing-eye bitch”. xD I can’t… I laughed so hard. EVERY time.